Your grandma will be so offended by this sweater made for two she’ll forget to ask you when you’re finally going to settle down. Also, while this is definitely not a pandemic friendly look, we suggest you buy it now and spend the next year looking for your ugly-Christmas-sweater-better-half. No more single uncle status for you!
We get it, you’re 15 and you don’t want to be around your family! Newsflash, we’re not having a ton of fun spending time with you lately either…but it’s the holidays so you better put that phone down and listen to your great uncle Lester tell the same story for the 500th time. Yes, this sweater is a little sassy and that’s fine…but don’t push it young lady.
You’re the attractive and wealthy doctor who wins marathons and spends your free time volunteering…obviously your ugly sweater would still be business professional. Don’t spill, it’s dry clean only! Oh and remember…we all hate you.
“Why buy it when I can make it?” Oh dear crafty aunt…obviously your ugly Christmas sweater is going to be handmade and over-the-top. Also, we LOVE all of the scarves, pot holders, and tissue covers you’ve knitted us over the years but we’d hate to see you go to that much trouble again! This year maybe we just stick with a Visa gift card?
You are the man or woman of the house so you don’t need a gimmicky ugly Christmas sweater! You run a tight ship and if anyone so much as looks at the holiday ham with intentions of carving into it before you’re ready, it’ll be the last holiday ham they ever see. You carve the meat. No if’s and’s or pork butts about it!