Although Fox has said that next year will beAmerican Idol‘s last, the long-running amateur talent show still managed to round up a star-studded lineup for this season’s finale, before revealing which of the two remaining bland white guys would be named the next Kelly Clarkson or Lee DeWyze (‘memba him?).
Without further adieu, here are 13 times the Season 14 finale made us check our weaves.
1. If pop-rockers Fall Out Boy open the broadcast, does it count if they barely show the band’s only recognizable member, Pete Wentz? Psst, he’s the one all the way to the right. Isn’t he?
2. Finally the moment everyone is tuning in for … to see what Jennifer Lopez is barely wearing. #TheQueen
3. The remaining members of The Jacksons – that are still on speaking terms – performed a medley of Michael’s their hits with 16-year-old contestant Tyanna Jones. It’s amazing how talented these brothers can be … when the mortgage is due.
4. Hey gurl, hey! It’s always so weird seeing Nicole Kidman at these things. Look, she’s trying to smile.
5. Ricky Martin is still “Livin’ the Vida Loca” at 42 and looking fiiiiiine! That being said, please never let us have to hear that song again! Ok, papi?
6. Janelle Monae was giving us body and weave for the gawds! Miss Thang has got it ALL on lock! Yaaas, ma’am!
7. J.Lo werked it hard on stage with up-and-coming Latin pop hunk Prince Royce (and the ever-present Pitbull.) Casper Smart, consider yourself warned.
8. Jamie Foxx gave a soulful performance on the piano. All is forgiven for butchering the National Anthem at the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight, but it’sgoing to take time and reparations to make up for Annie.
9. Jordan Knight from New Kids on the Block has definitely got “The Right Stuff.” The child is 44. FORTY FOUR! We’ll have whatever he and Ricky Martin are having. Trust!
10. Breaking News! Breaking News! Chris Brown busted a move and no one was hurt, nor were the authorities called. #TeamRiRi
11. You are not going to believe this, but an elderly female singer who goes by the stage name Steven Tyler performed and not one person made ageist comments about their youthful attire or sexually suggestive behavior. Looks like all of Madonna’s hard work has finally paid off.
12. J.Lo’s third and final outfit change came with a cover of Rihanna‘s “Diamonds.” Oh na na!
13. And the winner of American Idol is … the white guy holding a microphone with short brown hair and a black suit jacket who goes by the name Nick Fradiani. Um, we’re told he’s the one on the right. Congrats to you, sir.