The Dish fam knows you might think the pandemic is going to wreck your V-Day but we’re here to show you how a quarantine Valentine’s Day might be the best one of your life. So, here are five ways your lockdown love day will be one for the story books.
What’s better than putting on a sexy outfit, heading out with BAE and enjoying a romantic meal? Sweatpants, that’s what. Thanks to Zoom this Valentine’s Day you only need to impress from the bellybutton up. Wanna wear pants? Whatever, showoff. Don’t wanna wear pants? Yeah, me neither. Let those buns breath friends.
Dating just got far more mysterious and we are here for it. Been putting off Invisalign? Too much red wine have your teeth lookin’ funky? Love to eat poppyseed bagels? Wearing a mask fixes all of these problems! A world where garlic breath and chapped lips won’t ruin your chances at love is a world we’ve all dreamt of once or twice…right? Also, as much as Dateline might convince you otherwise, most of us don’t have smiles that “light up a room” but in a mask…your Valentine won’t know that!
Self-Care Secret Admirer
I swear if we have to see Janice from accounting get one more bouquet we will ABSOLUTELY LOSE IT.
Whew…sorry about that, moving on. Valentine’s Day can be one giant admiration slinging contest and can really bring single folks down. Ordering your own bouquet can be a little suspect when you’re working in an office, but not on quarantine V-Day! Go ahead and order that big ole’ bouquet…your secret is safe with the delivery person. Oh, and if you happen to “accidentally” slip that bouquet in the background of your next Zoom meeting with Janice, even better.
When you eat dinner with a date you always have to share your dessert. Well, not this year friends! Eat that whole damn thing you little cake cupid! Quick note, if you were one of the select few who opted to wear real pants on your Zoom Valentine’s Day date might we suggest you join us sweatpants-wearing comfort lovers before diving in?
BONUS REASON QUARANTINE V-DAY RULES: You can straight up pretend it isn’t happening. That’s right you can skip the whole thing if you want to and really, in the end…what’s better than that?