June 30, 2017

Relationship expert Zoe Marshall says getting into a verbal fight with your partner can be a good thing, if you do it correctly.

It’s not just about ranting and raving to make your significant other angry.

Marshall’s advice includes: “Don’t run from disagreements, which will only make things so much worse. Try to stay with it and work it out calmly.”

Here are Marshall’s tips for moving through a disagreement to strengthen the relationship.

1. Avoiding going around in circles.
2. Be fair.
3. Don’t say things you will regret later because you were mad.
4. Don’t swear, raise your voice or demean the other person. If you do catch yourself in the moment, own it, apologize and try again.
5. Resolve every fight before you go to sleep or leave each other for the day.
6. If it’s a big fight, have some space but reassure your partner that you want to fix things, you just need time to cool down and collect your thoughts.
7. Own your mistakes and apologize.
8. Forgive and don’t rub in their wrongdoing once you have forgiven.
9. When calm, go over the issue again in a loving way, discuss what you can both do to feel better — negotiate until both your needs are met.
10. Learn from your mistakes — my lesson is don’t lash out in frustration to hurt someone. It’s just more mess you have to apologize for later. Plus it’s mean.

Do you think this is sound advice?

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