10 Ways the NY Times Threw MAJOR Shade at Mariah Carey’s Vegas Show

May 7, 2015
Getty Images
Getty Images

by Johnny Lopez

Oh no they didn’t?!

Mariah Carey just got read to filth by the New York Times.

The 46-year-old pop diva launched her two-year residency entitled #1 to Infinity at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas on Wednesday to a sold-out crowd of her most loyal lambs and one unimpressed music critic, who gave her what could be considered the most brutal review of her long and illustrious career. (And that’s including Glitter!)

Hold on to your weaves and check out all the shade that’s fit to print as the prestigious newspaper really came for Miss Mimi with the ten harshest quotes from the seething critique.

1.  “You watch the crash because you want to see how it will end: near miss or carnage, relief or horror, laughter or tears.” So tell us how you really feel!

2.  “Her once-transcendent voice is like decaying manufacturing machinery: It still churns, but the product might be polished or dinged.” Translation: The Elusive Chanteuse is a rusty appliance.

“Emotions” still slaying 24 years later #MariahCarey #1toinfinity #lasvegas #openingnight

A video posted by David Perez (@daveybaby87) on

3. “That she’s embarking upon something like this is already a sign of defeat.” Them is fightin’ words. Right, Britney, Celine & Shania?!

4.  “The show consists of her 18 No. 1 Billboard hits, and the last of those came in 2008. (There’s a new song, too, called “Infinity” — it won’t be No. 19.)” Now that’s a read.

5. “When it came to the notes, though, the struggle was real.” Bye, Felicia.

6. “As she’s aged, her voice has gotten huskier, but sometimes the rasp felt like a glitch, not a goal.” Who you callin’ husky?

Desconheço essas pernas, mas é assim que se chega! #mariahcarey #mimi #RandB

A photo posted by Joao Pedro Ferreira (@joaopedro_171) on

7.  “Fantasy” featured Ol’ Dirty Bastard, who died in 2004, rapping via video, and he felt more alive than Ms. Carey, who was right there onstage.”  She’s just serving the children some Britney Spears realness.

8. “All in all, this show displayed a minimum of imagination and effort, from the song order — although she did rally near the end, on “We Belong Together” and “Don’t Forget About Us” — to the strategically lethargic band to the constant reminders of the things Ms. Carey wasn’t doing. ” There was a compliment in there. We think.

9. “But as the night wore on, it became increasingly unclear whether the sounds coming through the speakers were coming from her mouth.” Lip synch for your life, gurl!

10. “Whether the decision to undertake this project was born of necessity, hubris or obliviousness, it has put Ms. Carey in a precarious position — she is in decline and trapped in a cage of her own making.” Save Mimi!

Despite the seemingly endless barrage of insults, the review did manage to muster up at least one nice thing to say: “None of this changes the fact that, somewhere in there, Ms. Carey has one of the greatest pop voices of the last three decades.” Trust and believe!

Cheers!! Opening night!! Thank you everyone!!! #1toInfinity

A video posted by Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) on

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